TNIV’s Women’s Bible a Front for Zondervan’s Theological Agenda
It’s not that I find any problem with Zondervan’s choice of flower for the cover of their new gender-specific edition of their gender-neutral translation. But don’t you think it just a little bit odd to pick the one flower that has become the central symbol for a Certain Adherence to Logic and Veracity from Inner Netherlands? And (ahem!) five of them? Perhaps I have just come to assume that any given behemoth publishing house (especially one directed by less than theologically-sound parents) would avoid such direct and confrontational symbols on the front of their niche bible.
(On the other hand, what Keswick -inspired man, surrendering to the Holy Spirit’s power and purification, would touch this with a ten foot pole? [or an 8′ 7″ Ukrainian , for that matter?] And what do you think all those high-voltage power lines are supposed to mean?
“Johnson, let’s see your layout design for the new men’s edition of our Emasculated Line.”
“Right. Well, um, here goes: Tah-dah! Whaddya think, chief?”
“Hmmm…‘Strive’…Good, good. Those holiness jacks only buy our KJV stuff anyway…‘real life issues as a man.’ I like that. Good. Now, tell me, Johnson, why is this guy taking a leak over this little hill here?”
“Oh! Well, boss, we just thought that it would appeal to the manliness of our demographic. Studies show that many, many of them, especially given recent publishing successes , feel that urinating out of doors is the key identifier of themselves as men.”
“Well, be that as it may I don’t think that little Edna will appreciate seeing a tinkling fellah on display when she shuffles into the store to buy her new Kinkaid figurine. Howzabout we just airbrush out that actual golden shower? The men will be smart enough to see what’s really going on, won’t they, Johnson?”
“Oh, sure, sir. You bet. This is one sharp demo we are dealing with.”
“Grood. I mean, good…nicely done, Johnson.”
“Thank you sir.”
“Oh. One more thing.”
“Yessir?”
“Power lines.”
“Power lines, sir?”
“Give me some high-voltage power lines across here. Lots of them. I want to men to hear the hum of God’s power when they glance at this cover, gahdammit. I want ladies with hairy underarms to demand more health studies when they walk by the display.”
“Yessir. Right away. Powerlines. You think five or six?”
“Johnson. If I see less than 18 power lines on that cover when it rolls off the presses, let’s just say you will be our poster child for gender neutrality.”
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- Posted by Adeodatus on Monday, March 14, 2005 at 7:54:17 am PST
- Category: Religion
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5 Responses to “TNIV’s Women’s Bible a Front for Zondervan’s Theological Agenda”
Why, yes, the irony of a women’s edition of the TNIV is…odd. And what’s up with the title? Is it the Bible, or a book called “True Identity?” Because there might be more to the book than a discussion of identity. Maybe.
Comment Permalink | Posted on March 14th, 2005 at 9:14 am |Well, sure, there’s more, but let’s get the really
IMPORTANT stuff nailed down (dealing with gender-specific hangups, for the uninitiated), and the rest is just gravy.
BTW, it’s 8′4″ Ukrainian, per the article.
Comment Permalink | Posted on March 14th, 2005 at 11:18 am |I think it was a nice touch to put a man taking a leak on the front of, what is proported to be, the Word of God!!! (That’s honestly what it looks like!) Wow! It wasn’t bad enough that we went and cut the kahonas off the Truth, but now we’re going to desecrate it by having a man peeing on the front cover. Wow! I just must go out and buy one!
One question does remain, can someone further explain the flower? I am just a little bit out of the loop on that one. Thanks!
P.S. Thanks for speaking truth. Much necessary in our current I’ve-popped-my-brain culture. Sadly, I fear it will not fall on the right ears, nor make the difference. Yet, we musn’t forget Ezekiel and his call.
Comment Permalink | Posted on March 14th, 2005 at 8:12 pm |No worries on the TULIP-thing, there Ben. Here’s a lil’ intro by one of the more irenic voices.
Comment Permalink | Posted on March 15th, 2005 at 8:26 pm |Oh, of course! I can’t believe I missed that. Indeed, it seems my ability to interperet metaphoric commentation still needs improvement. Indeed, the irony reeks.
Perhaps the Zondervanites are so depraved in their understandings of Scripture and the very beliefs they claim to hold to that they have failed in their remembrance of such theologians and such truths. Then again, I’m not sure that’s even a perhaps. I think that myabe a very blatant, statement that they have forgotten!
Still, those covers just make me want to, oh so quickly, rush down my mountain to quickly wisk one away to my domicile in the desire to have one. I mean, heck, they must make wonderful fire starters! I doubt they are worth much else.
Comment Permalink | Posted on March 16th, 2005 at 12:57 pm |